OBAMA: The Good, The Bad and The Wonka.

OK so I had some thoughts as I see all the excitement on television and on my friends pages. I hope you didn't come here looking for profound thoughts on this profound day. Not what I do. If you want that go ahead and go over to the same blog I use for that Chicago's View on Things.

I started the day whistling "Ding dong the Witch is Dead" all happy and looking forward to watching some CNN with my Dad and celebrating his birthday. My excitement and enthusiasm has been tempered by a late model pick up truck. As I opened my car door this morning a truck came FLYING by and splashed the entire front seat and dashboard of my car. The dashboard is dirty and wet with sludge. The dashboard. THERE'S NEVER BEEN DIRT ON MY DASHBOARD IN THE 6 YEARS I'VE OWNED MY CAR! NOW THERE'S WET DIRT YOU $%$#%@ SCREW YOU PICKUP TRUCK GUY! I HOPE YOU GET PULLED OVER AND THEY BEAT YOU WITH STICKS!

BUT... today is a happy occasion. Dashboard be damned. I've had some visions of the possibilities of what the next years can bring. I'm not as pie in the sky as some of my friends are about Barack Obama, sorry...correction, President Barack Obama. Now when I say pie in the sky remember most of my friends are aspiring if not already working actors. That's a whole different kind of democrat. That's zealot level, God bless'em (sorry about that to the wicken and atheists among you). I'm also not as grumpy pants as the more jaded of my friends saying there will be no difference at all and a politician is a politician.

So here are the options:

#1 THE GOOD

Days after being elected President Barack Obama begins the very real work of re-building the confidence of a tired and hurting nation. He enlists every possible mind in a nation full if amazing ones. People work on the very real issues and write realistic laws and proposals that are also in and of themselves, open to change. So we don't try and fail and never try again. The infrastructure of our nation is rebuilt from the roads to the information highways, so that we can all be connected in some way. There is such a swell of pride throughout the nation that hundreds of thousands of people give, not only from their bank accounts, but more importantly from their time, physically get out there. Under the Presidents leadership our agencies and forces begin to move away from the "Do what we say not what we do" mentality we have had and stop backing evil just to go back and fight it later. We stop doing the things that we would seek to punish and vilify other countries for. Slowly, and yes it will be slowly, we move toward the ideals that we brag to the rest of the world about but so seldom are willing to put into real action. We start to act intelligently in order to move towards a country and others to a world that is propelled by clean energy not held hostage by it. We lead by example and open dialogues with all countries that would seek to oppress their citizens, specific races and women. And because of our willingness to admit to, and stop, our own oppression, we will be taken seriously.

#2 THE BAD

President Barack Obama gets into office and it's more of the same. He spends way too much time listening to his Secretary of State and winds up selling every inch of this government to the highest bidder. After all he IS a politician from Illinois... and I'm from Chicago too anyone who wants to take offense to that. The world sees us as weaker and attacks from all fronts hoping to trade on our bleeding hearts. Not wanting to anger anyone he one by one gives back every inch of the nation to the country who had stolen it before we did which leaves us with a few spots in Nevada that everyone who came before us passed up anyway because it was too hot and dirty. After this we still think "Well his heart is in the right place even though he's pretty damn useless.... you know like Jimmy Carter!" until BAM he pulls of his mask and looks like Sam Neil! That's right, he's President Damien and we're all screwed! Vice President Joe Biden sprouts wings and takes to the air spitting fire down onto all red states first then the rest just for the hell of it. Hillary Clinton sheds her outer human skin and in her spider like form eats every top official in the order of succession until she is made president by default then requires every citizen of the world to literally feed their money into her...gills I guess.

#3 THE WONKA

President Barack Obama changes the national anthem to "Candy Man" and E Pluribus Unum is replaced with "We are the music makers, and we are the dreamers of dreams". He solves world hunger by turning one river in each country into a river of chocolate. He then develops a new technology in his factory to convert all cars to run on clean burning chocolate. The American Dream becomes a lottery in which every paycheck at middle class level or below has a 1 in 10 chance of holding the Golden Ticket which would make them Secretary of State for the day complete with a one-day $250,000 paycheck. We develop a coating for the entire nation that prevents us from being harmed by any weapon of any kind which also tastes like snozzberries. This also stops us from needing a military for protection and allows it to be transformed into a world peacekeeping brigade that delivers food and hugs to impoverished nations. (They get the candy coating too because people elsewhere can still suck but theirs is grape because it's more manly and they deserve to be special because they signed up before they knew it was gonna be all hugs).



Gotta tell you I'm keeping an open mind and hoping against hope that we will see some positive change.

In short I'm hoping for a little from #1 and a little from #3.

Happy O Day everyone!

Or,

Happy No W day!

........whichever makes you smile.

And in the spirit of change I'd like to say to that Truck Driving splasher from this morning... SCREW YOU YOU $%$@# I TAKE NOTHING BACK! MY DASHBOARD! MY DASHBOARD! MY DASHBOARD! I HOPE YOU CONTRACT SOMETHING ITCHY!