Blast from the past IV

I was searching through my stuff for anything even remotely political and it turns out I don't really care. But I DID find one! Here's something I ripped off one night while watching campaign ads and debates after the last last election:

I sit here loving this most wonderful time of the year.. with negative adding and celebrity fluffing coming out of each eaaaaaaaaaar. (that last part is to be sung)

Is there anything better? I mean really.. can you fathom anything as satisfying as a commercial equating a voting on a local ordinance to supporting the terrorists responsible for 9/11? I can't think of any!

Here is a handy chart for all of you aspiring politicians, speech writers or if you're just plain bat shit crazy and want to believe in something other than your underwear is conspiring to kill you:

If someone has at any time in their life watched a movie starring Tim Robbins or Jane Fonda:
This candidate strongly supports North Korean Dictator Kim Jong-Il

If someone is left handed:
This candidate favors abortion and the outlawing of prayer in schools

If someone has at any time read the works of Tennessee Williams
This candidate is for mandatory gay sex and hates the institution of marriage

If someone has unrealistic expectations for the future, does not hold strong to any convictions, loses sight of the most important objective, drinks to excess and punches babies
This candidate is a Cub's Fan